The Truth About Productivity, Self-Worth, & Ultradian Rhythm

So many of us quietly tie our identity to being productive.

Busy equals valuable.
Checking things off equals worthy.
Rest equals lazy.

Yet we wake up and scroll, then feel guilty.
It takes a while to get into work mode, feel guilty.
The to do list never ends, feel behind.

On the outside, we look functional. We are meeting deadlines. Caring for our families. Responding to emails. Showing up.

Underneath?

Tension.
Shame.
Pressure.
A subtle sense of never doing enough.

Many women are not falling apart. We are high functioning. But internally, we are living in functional freeze. Pushing through exhaustion. Overriding body cues. Ignoring the quiet signals that say slow down.

Over time, that cycle turns into burnout.

Numbness.
Crashing at the end of the day.
Losing interest in hobbies.
Pulling away from meaningful relationships.
Not quite feeling like yourself anymore.

If that feels familiar, I want to introduce something that might shift how you understand your energy.

You Were Designed for Rhythm

Most people have heard of circadian rhythm, the 24 hour sleep wake cycle. But fewer people talk about ultradian rhythm.

Ultradian rhythms are natural 90 to 120 minute cycles of focused energy followed by a dip. During the peak phase, your brain can concentrate, create, and solve problems. Then your system needs restoration.

Your brain is designed to pulse, not to run continuously.

If you do not build in those breaks intentionally, your nervous system will create them for you, just like your body demands sleep after too many late nights. It may show up as mindless scrolling, brain fog, irritability, or suddenly hitting a wall by the end of the day.

This is not a discipline problem.

It is a rhythm problem.

The Push, Crash, Shame Cycle

When we override these dips, a familiar cycle begins:

You push through tension.
You ignore hunger, thirst, tight shoulders.
You crash or numb.
Shame builds.
Anxiety rises.
You push again.

Over time, this creates chronic stress in the body. Breath becomes shallow. Muscles stay tight. Emotions get suppressed because there is work to do.

But suppression does not equal regulation.

Your nervous system still carries what you did not process.

A Simple Ultradian Flow You Can Try

Here is the flow I use and share with clients:

Entry or Start, 0 to 15 minutes
List one task and begin with the easiest step. Let your nervous system ease in instead of forcing intensity.

Build, 15 to 40 minutes
Take one step at a time with the task. Stay steady. No rushing.

Flow, 40 to 70 minutes
This is where deeper focus often happens naturally.

Dip, 70 to 90 minutes
You may feel restless, irritable, foggy, or tempted to scroll. This is a biological cue, not a character flaw.

Reset, 5 to 15 minutes
Step away. Move your body. Shake out your arms. Drink water. Scribble. Circle one shape. Take three slow breaths. Then begin again.

It does not have to be perfect. It is simply a structure that honors how your nervous system actually works.

What If You Honored the Dip?

Instead of pushing through the dip, what if you planned for it?

Not a scroll filled collapse.
A restorative pause.

You might be surprised how much breath you have been holding. How much frustration is sitting in your jaw or shoulders after completing just one task.

This is where a reset kit can help.

Creating a Reset Kit

Make yourself a Reset Kit! This may include:

Paper for scribbling.
A small sketchbook.
Watercolor pencils and crayons.
A face mist or essential oil to gently awaken your senses.
Sometimes affirmation cards.
Sometimes scripture to help you feel grounded and supported.

It is not about the supplies. It is about permission.

Permission to pause.
Permission to move energy.
Permission to feel.

When you scribble during a break, you might notice frustration rising. That is not a problem. That is energy finally moving instead of being suppressed all day.

In that case, widen your channel. Shake out your arms. Stretch your neck. Take three slow breaths. Read something that reminds you of truth instead of shame.

Some women have told me they are adding sparkly pens. One person is using a pineapple lunch bag dedicated just to her reset items. It sounds simple, but it becomes a tangible support system you can return to throughout the day.

This Is Not About Doing It Perfectly

If you are a mom or caregiver, your rhythm may look different. You may not get clean 90-minute focus blocks. But you can still carve out small moments that belong to you.

Five minutes of scribbling.
Ten minutes outside in the sun.
A quiet cup of tea before everyone wakes up.

You do not have to carry everything alone.

This framework is not rigid. It is not another productivity hack. It is a way to come up for air instead of feeling suffocated by your own expectations.

An Invitation to Renewal

Spring is around the corner.

Instead of trying to become more productive, what if you became more attuned?

Instead of pushing harder, what if you honored your design?

Burnout is not always about doing too much. Sometimes it is about never allowing yourself to stop.

You deserve rhythm.
You deserve breath.
You deserve breaks without shame.

May this be your gentle reset.

If you are ready for deeper support, you can learn more about my integrative art therapy services here.

I offer telehealth therapy for adult women in California.